What If Fear Isn't a Faith Problem?
A biblical counselor's whole-person approach to finding peace
Have you ever been overwhelmed with fear or paralyzed by worry?
No matter how many verses you quoted and prayers you prayed, nothing changed. Your body still felt overwhelmed, and your mind was still spiraling out of control. Fear is something we all face— whether it's fear of the unknown, fear of loss, or fear of not being enough.
This reminds me of a time when my son was 18 months old, and I didn't give him the candy he wanted. He was already tired and overstimulated, so denying him a sucker at 9 p.m. was unacceptable to him. I went over to him and tried to talk to him about why a sucker at 9pm wasn't a good idea. He continued wailing. I eventually held him and gave him his pacifier, thinking that might calm him. He yanked it out of his mouth and threw it across the room.
Nothing I said or gave him would calm him down. So I whispered a prayer asking God to help me calm down. Then I simply held him and sang to him; eventually, his wailing and racing heart turned to a gentle cry and a slower heart rate. This is a natural response to being held and feeling secure. It means their distress is being met, their body is calming down, and they're beginning to feel safe again. We aren't much different than my 18-month-old; our natural response to "being held and feeling secure" helps us feel safe again.
This is why telling yourself something like “Don't be afraid. I shouldn’t be afraid if I’m a Christian. I'm so foolish for going down this path again..." doesn't work. If you’ve quoted Bible verses and they didn't calm you, it’s not because you’re not a good enough Christian, or the Bible isn’t true, or because prayer doesn’t work.
While I believe that quoting Bible verses can absolutely be meaningful and comforting, it does not always immediately stop fear or worry. Human beings are not only cognitive or spiritual creatures. We are also nervous-system creatures, relational creatures, embodied creatures, and emotional creatures. A verse may be true and still not instantly calm a dysregulated nervous system.
We often forget that we are holistic beings, and healing and growth often require more than information alone. Truth matters, and we need to pair that truth in a way that our body can process it so we can embody it.
Once your amygdala is calm, it can hear the facts, truth, God’s word, and hope. For instance, instead of trying to “force-stop” fear and anxiety with verses, a person might first start to calm their nervous system by following these steps:
Slowing their breathing,
Putting their feet on the floor,
Noticing what they are actually afraid of,
Speaking truth gently,
Praying honestly,
Seeking supportive connection,
Allowing the fear to be acknowledged,
Returning to trust gradually.
This step is part of my Rooted Womanhood workshop where I go over the intersection of faith and feelings in the midst of overwhelm and worry, helping women in all stages of life find their calm. Reach out to me if you’re interested in learning more about the workshop! mtuten@inhimchristianwellness.org
About the Author
Mari Tuten, MA, PLC
Biblical Counselor
Mari is passionate about helping women find hope and healing in the midst of life's challenges. She creates a safe space where clients can explore and process their experiences, and discover God's hope and presence in their lives.
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