How to Care like Christ for the Postpartum Mom in Your Life
- Lily Martin
- Jul 1
- 3 min read
What new moms actually need, and how you can help!
Pregnancy and postpartum are considered universal experiences for many women, but the individual impact varies greatly.
For some new mothers, the aftermath of pregnancy is a cause for celebration. Some women find great purpose and fulfillment in caring for a little one. They may be surrounded by a robust support system and an understanding, compassionate partner. For others, overwhelm and shellshock is most present during the postpartum period. Perhaps their infant is a poor sleeper, or they experience feeding challenges. Some infants are born with special medical issues that require extra care. Many new mothers lack sufficient support systems and feel lonely or isolated. It’s not a linear experience— rather, highly unique for each woman, baby, and their life circumstances.
Often, the postpartum experience is a massive identity shift.
Rather than finding a fulfillment of their purpose and calling, some women find that they are grieving the loss of their autonomy and independence. This, in turn, results in frustration with themselves for not “embracing motherhood” appropriately. This guilt is often fueled by societal and religious expectations that are internalized from a young age. Preexisting mental health conditions can be exacerbated by the hormonal shifts and stress of welcoming a new person into the family.
Women in the latter category are at increased risk of developing postpartum depression and anxiety. Some are fortunate to escape the burden of these mental health conditions. Most individuals, husbands included, experience the “baby blues,” a brief time period after their baby’s birth where they experience intense sadness, anxiety, insomnia, tearfulness and sudden mood swings. These feelings can extend far beyond a few weeks, leading to a Postpartum Depression diagnosis. Because of the intensity of the season, some women may not realize that they were struggling until after their children has grown. Many new mothers are reluctant to seek professional help in the postpartum period, despite seeking mental health support becoming more socially acceptable. This is not because they don’t want to. It’s typically because they lack the time or support.
Many women feel shame in their struggle because they think it shows a lack of gratitude or competency as a mother. Statistics speak to the contrary. Currently, NAMI estimates that:
80% of new mothers experience the “baby blues”
1 in 7 new mothers experience Postpartum Depression or “PPD”
Up to 50% of PPD cases go undiagnosed
Postpartum women are tired, overwhelmed, and recovering physically. A biblical worldview categorizes postpartum women as “vulnerable”, in which there are repeated encouragements through scripture to protect those who are weak and needy. This is not to say that postpartum women are not resilient, but believers have the unique responsibility to care for “widows and orphans [and postpartum mothers] in their distress”.
Here are some practical tips for caring for new mothers:
Feed her! Recovery from childbirth is exhausting and her body needs more calories than usual, especially if she is breastfeeding. This presents a challenge because she does not have time or energy to cook. No need to drop off a casserole or crock pot (this often results in more dishes for her to do, anyways). A foil pan of breakfast muffins may do the trick.
Offer to meet physical needs. Some women experience significant injury after birth. If their partner must return to work shortly after birth, she may need help with basic tasks such as lifting the car seat for doctor’s appointments or running the vacuum.
Extend grace and patience. Postpartum women may be unable to stay on top of text messages, phone calls, or thank you notes due to sleep deprivation. If you don’t hear from her, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need or want your help. This applies to the first year or so of the infant’s life.
Offer encouragement! So many people, including postpartum women are starved for encouragement. Let her know that she’s doing a great job. She needs to hear it.
Encourage and support a mother if she needs treatment for postpartum depression, anxiety, or another mental health struggle. New mothers may need help driving to appointments, or need someone to watch their infant while they attend a virtual therapy session. Remind her that she is not alone.
2 James 1:27
About the Author
Lily Martin, MA
Biblical Counselor
Lily helps clients navigate life’s challenges by combining biblical wisdom and practical care, drawing from ministry experience to support healing, growth, and wholeness in Christ.
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