Caring for Aging Parents Without Burning Out: Grace, Boundaries, and Self-Care
- Kristin Malloy
- May 1
- 3 min read
Feeling overwhelmed as a caregiver? Learn how to care for aging parents while still tending to your own soul, health, and well-being—with grace and support.
Caring for sick or aging parents can be a challenge for everyone involved.
For the parents who were once able to care for themselves and live independently, it can be very humbling to ask for and receive help. There is almost a complete role reversal in these situations where adult children are now giving care instead of receiving.
So what is the best way to make sure that everyone involved is getting what they need- mind, body, and spirit?
Someone once said to me that our bodies give us signs that are like our “check engine lights” notifying us that we need to pay attention to something that isn’t working properly within us.
When caring for aging or sick parents it is so important to be on the look-out for any check engine lights that may “turn on”.
Some things to look out for and ask yourself:
Am I feeling bitter or angry towards the person I am caring for? If so, why might that be?
Am I eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and getting enough exercise?
Do I have the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual capacity to care for my loved on? If not, it may be helpful to look into other resources to get them time care they require.
Am I still making time for the things I enjoy? Am I engaging with other adults on a regular basis?
Your answers to these questions might be God's check engine light for you.
When we are pouring so much into other people, it can be easy to lose ourselves, which is a quick way to become burnt out. Making sure that you are still caring for yourself is vital when caring for others. Doing this effectively comes through setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with those you are caring for. Give yourself permission to say no or to take a break.
Lastly, as God gives us grace, give yourself and your loved one grace.
This is going to be a learning and growing process for everyone involved. They will be learning how to receive the care you are trying to give while grieving the life they once had. Work together the best you can to set and maintain a routine that suits everyone involved.
Recommended Resources:
I encourage you to visit your county's website:
Adult Day Centers or Senior Centers can be a great way to help aging parents maintain independence and give their caregivers a break.
Find other people who you trust that would be willing to sit with your loved one so you can get a break, go grocery shopping, exercise, etc. It’s okay and necessary to ask for help! Don’t do this alone.
Look and see if there is a Caregiver Support Group in your area. It can be helpful to process thoughts and feelings with those who are in similar situations.
Kristin Malloy has been a counselor at In Him Christian Wellness since 2019. She has a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah University. Kristin has worked with older adults in various settings, including in home, senior centers, and nursing homes. When she isn’t counseling she enjoys spending time with her husband and four children, gardening, baking, and reading.
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